Triggered by Trauma

The Book of Job

“Terrors overwhelm me…my life ebbs away, days of suffering grip me. Night pierces my bones, my gnawing pains never rest.” Job 30:15-17

I feel like I’m at the edge of the cliff. I’ve got enough footing to remain steady but my heart races wondering when the right amount of wind, the slightest movement of my foot, or the movement of something else will send me over. When it all comes tumbling down, I can’t breathe. This feeling, this is the space you’re in when you want to be hopeful but you’re afraid to trust things will get better. It feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting on the next storm to rip through tearing up everything in sight.

These feelings don’t represent faith or hope. They represent anxiety and fear. These feelings steal your joy and rob you of happiness. You become a person that survives and doesn’t live. You become restless and you anticipate the worst. To keep from falling you try to find something in your mind to ease the fear. It last long enough until the next rush of emotions hit and you search again for something to ground you. This level of anguish is the result of trauma and your body is reacting to it severely. Your heart races, you feel dizzy, weak or faint. You zone out and forget your breaths. You feel warm suddenly and instantly it’s fight or flight. Your body can’t tell what to do so it forsakes you in that moment. You’re only your thoughts closing in with a tightened chest.

Trauma

Trauma can cause the entire body to believe it is reliving the situation and deceive your mind into a state of helplessness. Although you aren’t helpless, the mind tells you that something horrible is happening and panic ensues.

Traumatic events have a before and after. A season ends a new one begins. You can not push away trauma. It resurfaces with a vengeance. You can only retrain the mind over time to cope with the experience and teach new responses and reactions to the triggering memories. Why can’t you push it away by closing your eyes saying it isn’t real? Because it is real! It happened and it affected you in ways you can’t completely understand. So, if what happened is real, your response is real. You’re not there anymore, you’re safe now. The cliff is scary and you feel your body reacting to the fear of going over.

This just means your body is signaling for help. Something triggered the trauma and it’s time to assess and retrain the mind. To do this acknowledge what is in your space making you feel unsafe. What stressors are increasing this response? Can you remove them? If yes, do it! If no, locate tools to retrain your mind back to safe thoughts. Locate support to rally around you so that you do not slip off into a dark tunnel alone. Although alone seems like it will feel better it is a melting pot for the mind to run rampant with more anxiety. Cut the source of what’s feeding the traumatic response when possible. When you can’t do that pray with a faithful heart.

Job

Job experienced so much pain that he couldn’t sleep. He felt terror and suffering constantly. He lost his children, his possessions, and his health declined. That is a lot to loose back to back. It rips hope away and attempts to kill your faith to experience such tragedy. His bitter wife even complained and wanted him to curse God and die. But no matter his trauma he still believed in Christ, he faithfully held on even when everything went wrong. Because Job refused to let his trauma turn him away from God, he was blessed far beyond his Before trauma experience. The Lord restored him and gave him a new experience After trauma. Job gained prosperity, 10 children, and lived far longer than expected after the decline in health. If you don’t see it turning around yet just keep the faith! Don’t let satan make you bitter. When you give up and turn away, the enemy wins. When you hold on to God, he steps into your situation and he commands the storm.

Lesson

The trauma that entered your life wasn’t fair it changed you and took something from you. It hurts and there are moments where your mind is arrested by it but don’t lose hope sister! Though it is a painful experience, God is doing something and he’s about to bring in a new season. You will inherit overflow! Rejoice now because there is a Before and After trauma season. YOUR FAITHFULNESS is all you need. Just hold on a while longer.

Prayer Father in heaven help me to release the hurt and sorrow that I hold in my heart for what has occurred. Renew in me a new spirit made whole that I will no longer see myself as fractured but healed through you. Although at times I feel burdened by this traumatic time in my life I know that you love me unconditionally and will not allow me to become lost in the trauma because you are always with me. Help me to move forward and to give myself grace on the hardest days where the trauma haunts me most. Give me peace that surpasses all understanding so that I may rest and experience relief. ~ Amen